Not much new going on - just a couple adjustments here and there. I've pretty much gotten used to having my dad home all the time, but it's weird having Jess gone (even though it's only been a few days). Financial changes are starting to have their effects... like applying for financial aid - ugh! Haha. It's weird not having anyone's example to follow (or not follow) - there's always been someone, now I'm just at a bit of a loss. I guess this is the part where I step up to the plate (which is scary 'cause I hate hitting - I usually strike out). *sigh* My hand has always been held if I desired it, but all my usual hand-holders have left me. Now, I suppose, is the time when I reach up instead of out and just hang on because it's going to be tough and rough and amazing. Trust isn't something I come by easily.

Okay, so stressors - can't handle 'em too well - but if there's one thing that's more stressful to me than a straightforward stressing situation, it's not knowing what to do - there's nothing that stresses me out more. Into that dreadful category falls decision making. Yes, I'm indecisive - deal with it. I am going to "overthink" and overanalyze and attempt to determine, multiple times, what the best decision is - there are too many motives and perspectives to explore before I can be certain of the right decision. (I am inclined to regret, slightly, that I find I cannot apologize for that.) What I will do is pray for clarification and seek advice from those whose opinions I esteem and whose priorities are in accordance with God's. Perhaps an inconvenient combination, I also have a high regard for details, I am a borderline perfectionist, a borderline idealist, and I have some characteristics of OCD. I do not think I need to apologize for that, but I am sympathetic to the people who encounter and interact with me when the above mentioned characteristics are being displayed in full force - it's quite frustrating, I know.

And that leads me to a few, loosely connected conclusions....

You can determine how your priorities lie by considering what types of people you are attracted to - the mutual interest of  people is the priority that brings them together. Consider your friends, find your mutual priority, and upon doing so, you will then be able to determine what your priorities are by determining the magnitude of your attractions. It's a little more complicated than gravity, but I think it is a decent theory. You'll find as your priorities change, your attractions will change; by this I conclude that friendships between believers and nonbelievers are weak as their relationship has little foundation. ("... what fellowship has light with darkness?") At this point, I believe I need to clarify that this has nothing to say about civility.

God is sovereign. I love it - at least, I love the concept of it (sometimes I am not so enamored with the application). The circumstances in your life, the people in your life, are all in allowance of God's will. Any complaints, take them to Him. (Keep in mind, however, that He promises that He "... will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also so that you will be able to endure it".) I especially like to think about the allowance of the entrance of people into your life - they're there; now behave appropriately.

And... I know there very well might have been something else, but I have to excuse myself at this time. It's quite late, and I think "my" reflections can wait for a time. There are plenty more for another time. I rarely have any objection to an outlet, and the little revelations that conclude are usually gratefully welcomed - if anything laziness, apathy and anxiety are the primary preventers, generally speaking. (Oftentimes, I am sure, it is due to good sense - for, "when there are many words, transgression is unavoidable". Hmm... I think I'm going to stop now. )

Off I go. Until next time!

IT'S HOT!!

and...

I love my kitty!!

Umm.. let's see... this summer I've been up to no good. More accurately put, nothing much has been going on. Since my old work has shown negative interest in rehiring me - although when they were "letting [me] go" they made it sound like they would if the oppertunity arose (which it did... twice!) - (something I am still quite bitter about) and since I have no need to take any classes offered in the summer... I have positively nothing that demands my time - or occupies it. That being the case, I have come to be quite restless at times. But more than that, I am trying not to waste time. However, I seem to be failing in that regard more than the others. Absurdly, I seem to waste more time thinking about not wasting time!! Ugh! It's absolutely horrid.

Another bizzare concept I need to get used to is having no steady income - none! Agh!  It's been coming so steadily though, that I'm not at all surprised. Now it's just a matter of making adjustments. Hmm, here come changes. I suppose the most liberating is not having to be a full-time student... meaning, I can take the classes I need to take without finding other classes just to fill up the unit load and waste time. At least, I'm hoping that will be one of the changes. Everything's a bit unsure, but, ya know, that's okay! ...because the one that is a solid sure is that God will provide and that all things will work together for the good. That being said, nothing else really seems like much of a problem. It'll be interesting, it'll be rough, but it'll bear good results. Already things are changing, attitudes are changing, and actions are changing. Maybe it will have a de-self-centering effect (yes, I know... horrible English ) - that would be great!

Lastly (and this is in reference to the beginning of this post), my boyfriend "V" is back!!! Which, come to think of it... is actually a bittersweet. Hmmmm....

The longest two hours ever... or what seems like it.

So it's my last day of work indefinitely, which sucks more than a little. And to pass the time... I thought to quote quotes from my supervisor's 2009 calendar... however, now that I'm trying to find some quotable quotes, none of them seem to be quoteworthy.

Let's see...

It's sprinkling again today, which seems very, very, very, very appropriate (symbolic even).

This past weekend I spent, not with Paula, but at her house - visiting everyone else.

"Some family trees bear an enourmous crop of nuts." - Anonymous  (I finally found a quote! )

IT'S RAINING!!! And the weather is beautiful!!!! Gorgeous morning, absolutely breathtaking.

In other news, we are more than halfway through the semester (less than two months to go), and time is flying by. Why is it that the fall semester always go by so much faster than the spring? I'm starting to think there's more to it than just summer. Regardless, I love fall and I love this weather! Thanksgiving and Christmas and New Years will be here in no time at all. How exciting!

Well, work is good, school is pretty good, and everything else is not providing me with many complaints; just two things - I can't remember the last day I did not a headache and I can't remember the last time I went to bed before 1:00; I'm starting to think there's a correlation.

I think that's about it. Only that there a groups of little kids swarming the hall and my supervisor is telling me to help hand out candy - fun!

So...  life is good.  Classes are going as well as can be expected, work is fine, and everything else is hanging in there, which is better than dropping out. Sometimes, though, with all this school and work routine, I start wondering when I'm going to really start living - now, that's a problem.

So... I skinned a cat the other day. It was a very large cat with orange strips; its name is Olivia. I'm still somewhat uneasy about the naming of dead animals who are only receiving so much attention so that those who are naming them can cut into their bodies and rumage around in their insides.

So... people are really selfish; it's kinda disgusting. I'm not speaking of anyone specifically, but of people as a general, which is pretty much all inclusive.